Euro-peein'
BMW drivers
A police officer arrives on the scene of an accident in which a BMW traveling at high speed lost control and crashed in to a guard rail along the median. The car obviously ground along the guard rail for quite a distance because the driver's side of the car was just annihilated and the driver's left arm must have been hanging out of the window during the crash, because it was severed at the elbow! As the officer approached he could hear the driver in shock, repeating, "Oh, my God - My Bimmer! Oh, my God, my poor Bimmer."
"Hey, buddy, I think you've got bigger problems that your car! Take a look at your left arm!"
The driver looks down at his severed arm, his eyes get as big as saucers and he yells, "OH MY GOD, MY ROLEX!"
Eric Cartman's musical in Butterballs
I had a chance to see the South Park's 'Butterballs' episode on the southpark website. The most enjoyable part of the episode, for me, was Eric Cartman singing about his vajayjay in the musical. Below are Eric's words -
Used to be chicks sang about their relaionships; now it's all "my vajayjay this, my vajayjay that." But clearly that's what sells. When was the last time you turned on a music video and didn't see some chick strumming a guitar singing about her vajayjay?
Oh you like my body Yeah c'mon let's play You can touch me anywhere Except on my vajayjay My heart says yes But my vajayjay says no
rants by Kapil Sibal, with lolcats
Kapil Sibal, India's Telecoms minister has prompted an uproar after it was revealed he met with executives from Google and Facebook to pressure them into screening 'objectionable' content.
A side effect of Kapil Sibal trying to censor the internet is that he has been given a goldmine of comic quotes. And any quote looks adorable with a kitten. I converted his quotes to lolspeak and put them with pictures of cute kittens. The kittens should countereffect the increased blood pressure caused by his idocacy.
Without further ado, here are the cats with Kapil's quotes
U go and delete information on the Internet that might offend the sensibilities of people in India
We have to take care of the sensibilities of our people. Cultural ethos is very important to us.
There is some content on the Internet.. that any normal human being would be offended by
I have seen subject matter which was so offensive that it hurt religious sentiments of large sections of community
Image credits
My tshirt for today
Overheard
Overheard at Victoria's Secret sale event, near a huge stack of panties, during their underwear sale event - "wow these are huge". The speaker was a woman holding up a pair.
Overhead in a TV serial - "They destroyed my roses. Eat lead, you bastards"